My Two Hundred Dinars: Kim Jong Unbelievable Horseshit

Posted on April 11, 2013


A Very Scared Man, A Very Scared Country.

Kim Jong Unbelievable Horseshit

In case you haven’t noticed, a large chunk of our media has been pre-occupied with informing us that the isolated, insane, despotic hermit kingdom of North Korea (not my words) are on the verge of finally cracking up and bombing us all into an early Armageddon. The USA, in response, has upped its (already sizeable) military presence in South Korea, complete with staged invasions and attacks in the two countries war games. US Defence Secretary Chuck Hagel was recently quoted as saying that the US is ‘fully prepared to deal with any provocation North Korea may instigate’ and that North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un was ‘skating close to a dangerous line’. Kim Jong-Un, for his credit, has ratcheted up the rhetoric, with the usual threats to turn Seoul into a ‘sea of flames’ and plans to attack mainland USA. China’s Communist Party is quoted saying that there is a 70-80% chance war will happen. Just last week, even our own Prime Minister David Cameron was saying that a North Korean nuclear strike could hit the UK, using it as the reason to retain the Trident nuclear deterrent. You know, despite us being broke. So what exactly is going on? Are we to believe that those crazy rat bastard Koreans have finally cracked and are going to bomb us all? What will become of us? I don’t want the world to end just because some crazy dictator hates everyone!

First of all, don’t make me laugh.

Secondly, to get the obvious out of the way, if North Korea bombs any British mainland town, I will give up crisps for life and solely ingest heroin. It isn’t going happen, so stop contemplating it. Thirdly, if North Korea bombs any US mainland town, I will give up crisps for life and solely ingest heroin. It isn’t going to happen, so stop contemplating it. We are not on the verge of World War 3, nuclear annihilation is not around the corner, and North Korea is most certainly not a threat to the security of the world. What we are dealing with is the usual US-led western hypocrisy and desire for a bogeyman, revising logic and relying on the fact that the majority of people can’t be bothered to look into things for themselves.

So like previous threats to life as we know it before the DPRK, namely Saddam Hussein, Slobodan Milosevic and Iran forever, we can only assume that the reason for these threats are an insatiable desire for mass national suicide. North Korea has no intention of launching an attack on the West, it never has at any point in its history. It has nuclear capability, and it has stated time after time that this is purely for defence. ‘Oh but John, of course they are going to say its for defence, that is what they want you to think! Don’t be so naïve! They tell their population they are constantly surrounded by enemies, and they use this propaganda to stop the people asking questions! Duh!’

I see your point, except it only takes a little bit of reading and logic to see that well, they are surrounded by enemies a little bit. The US and UN militarily stationed in South Korea since the end of the war, with no sign of leaving. They arm and train the South Korean army, and frequently engage in their own provocative fly overs. The ‘surrounded by enemies’ logic is applied to allow Israel big time weapons, but not North Korea? Double standards. The double standards to nuclear capability goes on and on. Any time North Korea tests a rocket of some kind, our media will go into a frenzy and lambast the regime for ‘wasting money on weapons whilst the people go poor’. These same people will then congratulate India on successful long range missile tests, despite the fact that India contains around a third of all the worlds poor. North Korea withdraws from the Non-proliferation treaty on nuclear weapons in 2003 and is attacked in the media. India, Pakistan and Israel, among other nuclear capable states, never even signed this document. Finally, every North Korean military article in a newspaper will be complete with the opinion of the South Korean government or media, much in the same way Irans will come with the opinion of Israel or the US. Is every Indian military article bolstered by the opinions of Pakistan? What about Israel and its neighbours? You know the answer.

Our media would also lead us to believe that North Korea is sitting on a gigantic nuclear arsenal, the likes of which would blow many major cities to smithereens, leaving the world in disarray. Well, by the estimates of most experts, North Korea has less than 10 crude nuclear weapons, none of which exceed more than a 7 kilo-tonne capability. Contrast this with, yes, the United States, who have around 7700 advanced nuclear weapons. Oh, and the 7 kilo-tonne capability? This is a third the size of the bomb that flattened Nagasaki. In 1945. The threats of North Korea can be likened to that of a 5foot tall underfed boy in school, threatening to beat up the 6foot 3 rugby playing beast who used to bully him, because he now has a catapult as well. Would anyone take that threat seriously? North Korea is no threat unless it wants to risk complete obliteration, and its nuclear weapons are nothing but a deterrent.

So why all the hooplah? Well, geopolitics of course! This isn’t about North Korea in the slightest. There are 2 very important countries in the world that border her, and these are very important indeed. They also happen to be outside of the US-sphere of influence, namely Russia and China. China is the more serious here, and US and the West would jump at any chance to establish a military base on its border. In fact, despite Korean (both North and South) desires for unification, the conflict has been kept alive primarily by the west, in order to justify continued US militarism in the area. We’re told that the US is there to ‘protect’ South Korea, that they act as a defence shield against the sinister North. So, a little history.

The peninsula was unilaterally partitioned at the end of World War 2 in 1945. This was strongly encouraged by the US, as the Korean population was strongly anti-imperialist at the time. Pro-Japanese collaborators were installed as the puppet leaders of the South. Yes, think about that for a second. The US fought a way against fascism and imperialism, only to collaborate with those same forces against Korean democracy. Right. As the North fell under the Soviet sphere of influence, with China also coming under communist rule in 1949, the US could not risk Korea falling this way as well. President Truman felt that Korea would fall and be followed by Japan, which was too important to US trade to happen. The war was fought in order to ‘combat’ communism in far east Asia. It was a horrific war, often referred to as the ‘Forgotten War’ of the 20th century. The death count is believed to be around 3 million, the majority of them civilians, and the majority being from the North. Around 20 North Korean cities were razed to the ground, and evidence suggests that the Pentagon was planning to essentially create a nuclear desert in that part of the world. North Korea was bombed into the stone age. The war was stopped with an armistice in 1953, essentially a cease-fire. This position hasn’t changed in the 60 years since. On many occasions North Korea have requested talks be held about a peace treaty, but this has continually been rejected by the US and South Korea. So that was that.

Until the mid 1980s, North Korea was performing much stronger than the proxy sweat shop regime to the South, but this would change as communism began to collapse elsewhere. By the mid 1990s, things were dire. International sanctions would increase, and sanctions would do what they always do and are always meant to do. Obliterate the lower rungs of civilians. Don’t be fooled, when our media talks about increasing sanctions on a country (see: Iran, Yugoslavia, Iraq, Syria, et al), they are not talking about making life hard for those in charge of the country, those of the upper echelons. No, the primary aim of sanctions is to make the majority of the population hungry, to make life so impossibly hard for the ordinary people. To punish them. Now, I don’t mean to apologise for the North Korean leadership throughout their time, as far as we know they are guilty of some terrible things. But to call them the sole architects of the nations plight is short sighted and naïve once again. With recent history fresh in the memory, would you not be a little wary of the international community? This leads to the propaganda ramping up, and the wedge between the North of Korea and the rest of the world is widened.

Things almost looked like they were improving at one point. Kim Dae Jung won the South Korean presidential elections in 1998, based largely on a platform of encouraging relations and engagement with the North. He was the author of the famous ‘Sunshine Policy’, which would aim to improve economic relations and increase tourism between the two, especially between the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ). South Korean businesses would be able to invest in the North, and make use of its hungry, skilled workforce. It even worked for a short amount of time, and a joint rail road across the DMZ was even built allowing South Koreans to visit the Kumgang region and reconcile families. The economic side came crashing down however as soon as George W. Bush referred to the North as part of the ‘Axis of Evil’, along with Iraq and Iran. With war in Iraq imminent and hyperbole towards Iran ratcheting up, North Korea did what any self aware nation would do and took steps to defend itself. The Sunshine Policy was dead, and unification was pushed back another while. Park Guen-Hye recently became the first female president in the history of South Korea, also running on a pro-engagement platform. Here’s hoping.

 So think about all this the next time you read a wild news story about crazy North Korea waging war against the world. The threats coming out of the country are dumb, overblown, childlike, rhetoric at best, and the aim of them is survival or the faint hope that a peace treaty can be signed. The scale of the threats can be seen in that not a single foreign government has made any move to evacuate out of either Korea. South Korea is also trying to restart operations at a joint factory that have been suspended for a few days. People on the streets of Pyongyang are relaxed, panic is non existent. Our media still reports that in North Korea, ‘guns and tanks are popular toys for children’, but show me a country where that is not the case. Think a little more critically about North Korea in future please.