Night Shift Logic: That’s What He Do

Posted on June 18, 2013


By the time John Cena finished his promo there, I was all prepared to write a complaint about how ridiculous the idea that he had a terrible 2012 is. He came out on top of Kane in their ridiculous feud, he beat Brock Lesnar in his return, then he made The Big Show, Johnny Ace and Dolph Ziggler look ridiculous for the rest of the year. All this as well as main eventing pretty much everything? Yeah, terrible year John. Luckily, Mark Henry came out to save everything.

Now, as much as I love Henry now, 5 years ago things were pretty different. He was the first name on everybody’s list of people they thought should be released. For the vast majority of his career he has been an injury prone dud machine, who had a job because of I don’t know, loyalty. All this changed a couple of years back with the introduction of the Hall of Pain, and the rest is history.

Mark Henry just gave by far the best pro wrestling retirement speech you will ever hear. By far. It was personal, it was funny, it was self referencing, it was intimate. He brought out the tears, he acknowledged a ‘Mae Young’ chant from the crowd. He made mention of his own horrific jacket. It was beautiful, it was intensely beautiful. He had his hand raised by John Cena, and then BOOM. Everything got even more beautiful, because that’s what he do.

As Cena goes to embrace Henry, Sexual Chocolate himself drops Cena with a Worlds Strongest Slam, and everyone who watches wrestling instantaneously drops their pants. It was as good a moment as there has been on WWE TV in forever, and will be difficult to top for the rest of the year. I also have no idea how WWE goes forward with Henry as a heel, but the huge amount of wrestlers who have seemingly re-aligned over the last 24 hours suggests to me that alignment may be a thing of the past. Regardless, that was awesome, and despite being kinda crappy for over a decade, being awesome is now what he do.